Online Dating Etiquette: Not Interested, Here’s What to Say

One of the most awkward experiences in online dating is rejecting someone who’s expressed interest in you. No one likes rejection, and simultaneously, no one likes to be the bearer of bad news. However, saying “thanks, but no thanks” is not only good online dating etiquette; it’s also an important part of your search for the person who you’re truly interested in.
 
So how do you tell people you’re not into them without being a total jerk about it? We asked several dating experts for their advice on what to say when you’re just not feeling it.
 
What to Say after You’ve Been Messaged Online
 
“Don’t feel pressured to write back or decline every time someone reaches out to you,” says April Beyer, Personal Matchmaker and Relationship Consultant. “You’ll never have enough time! Only write a kind note to someone who took his/her time to write you a real and authentic note. Winks, pokes, and likes about your photos don’t count. It’s a lazy approach so it doesn’t deserve your time.”
 
If you must respond be brief, direct, and kind. Try something like, “Thank you for your interest but I don’t see us as a match. Wishing you all the best in your search.”
 
However, if the person isn’t quite getting the message, Beyer says, “Just delete and keep moving. This person obviously doesn’t respect your needs or wants. Above all, play nice and, whether you’re asked out online or in person, be considerate and honest.”
 
Giving polite excuses is another option. “When turning someone down while online dating, I think most people just vanish from the conversation. This is fine if chats have been limited, but if you want to end the messaging in a mature way, you can simply say that you’ve met someone and you’re focusing on that person at the moment,” Shannon Tebb, Boutique Matchmaker and Dating Consultant at Shanny in the City, says.
 
Another suggestion? “You can say you’ve enjoyed chatting with them but you don’t have the availability at the moment due to work, etc.”
 
Compliments also go a long way, so don’t forget to use good online dating etiquette and mention how you appreciate the positive attention. “You never know if you’ll cross paths with this individual again, so it’s best to handle it in a positive way that will leave you both feeling good rather than jaded.”

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